So here we are getting deeper and deeper into September and edging our way towards fall and I am still sitting on some Summer posts about our vacations. I had these grand expectations of what I was going to write about these vacations, how much fun we had and all the amazing things we did. We traveled to Toronto and went to Wonderland, and Niagara Falls, we went to visit family and had a magical time together.
The funny thing about expectations is they can make it so nothing happens, at least this is what can happen to me. I have it in my head what I want to do and how I want it done and nothing less then that will do. The reality of my situation is I can't do it all. Yes I want to write everyday, yes I want my house to be clean, yes I want all my laundry to be put away, yes I want all my meals to be homemade and healthy and delicious, yes I want to have time to myself, yes I want to have time with Mike, yes I want to be able to do nothing else but play with my kids. It's a constant tug of war with all of the things that I want to do and what I need to do. What I need to do is let go of some of my expectations, I simply can't do it all. This is something we all go through, it's something we must all deal with and we need to take a step back and take a look at what is really important to us. It's okay if my house is a little messy or if it takes 3 days to put away the laundry, it's okay it I lose my patients every once in a while, it happens to us all.
I constantly tell my girls that practice makes progress, a few times they have corrected me and said, no Mommy practice makes perfect. But again I repeat myself and say practice makes progress, that's what's important, try to improve yourself and what you are doing, striving for perfect can be a slippery slope. No one is perfect, and thinking that you should be, or really can be, can give you false expectations in life and it can hold you back.
If you're striving for perfection you can miss out on life's lessons and in the end you will be down on yourself and those around you. The thing about negativity and positivity is they spread like wild fire, both can take over and it's like a domino effect. Everyday I make a conscience effort to look on the positive side of everything, the silver lining if you like. I have been through many ups and downs over the last few years but what I have learned, especially in the last year, is that I am the one in control of my life and I can choose to live a positive life or a negative one. I still have my days when things get overwhelming or I hear something that sends me into a nose dive of negative thoughts. I have a habit of making up conversations in my head and picking what the other person will say or how they will react, usually in a negative way. I go around and around in circles until I have worked myself up and can't see the situation coming out well. So a lot of the time I would decide it's better to not say anything at all and I just deal with my negative thoughts. Well can you see how unhealthy this is, I do! Now when I see this is happening I stop what I am doing, I realize the problem and don't let it snowball, I have a voice and I am no longer frightened to use it.
I have been working a lot on opening up more and saying what is on my mind. Communication is key and I have learned that the hard way and it is something I will never compromise on again. To keep things in and hold them against someone is toxic to a relationship and it is something I am not interested in experiencing again. Trust me I have learned from my mistakes. So these days I am more open about how I feel and what I want, I am not down on myself for those things that I can't do or don't have time to do. I am doing what feels right for me and what works best in my life, I want to be the best Mother, and the best me, that I can be and in doing so I must let go of trying to be perfect and just be real. We all make mistakes in life, and that's an important part of growing and changing, it's what we do with those mistakes and the lessons we learn from them that is the important thing. I have faith in myself and my decisions and my life. Right now at this point in time I am happy, I'm happier then I have been in years, I am grateful for my children and the life we are building together, we are changing and learning and re-adjusting everyday and as long as we are happy that is what counts.
With that all being said ... totally not sure how I even got on that topic or how that whole rant just happened ... so ... lets get back to the task at hand .....
There are a couple moments that I want to write about but in light of letting go of my (way to) high expectations I will lay them out in point form because that is as far away from my planed post as I can get. So here are some of the things that I loved about our vacations and some of the things that I learned along the way.
1. The girls were amazing on our road trip, lots of fun and games in the car
2. Hotels are the best
3. Quinn is a roller coaster junkie, and I love it, her favourite was thunderun
4. Aisley made us cry we were laughing so hard when she drove the bumper cars
5. Aisley's favourite ride was the snoopy planes
6. I love visiting my family
7. Camping is amazing with little girls
8. The girls love camping and want to get a trailer
9. On the first night I couldn't start a fire so I got a lot of paper and got some good smoke going off the fire wood, with that I sat back with a glass of wine and called that smoke a fire.
10. Why was everyone so shocked I took the girls camping alone?
11. Why was everyone so shocked that I set up the campsite on my own?
12. It was really fun when Mike joined us for the day
13. Don't let the kids play in the car, they will leave lights on and you will end up with a dead battery
14. The beach is our happy place.
15. Summer vacations are amazing!
And here are a couple of my favourite moments ...
^^that little kitty!^^
^^can my girls pose or what!^^
What a happy Summer we had, I have been dreaming about this Summer since the last and it was everything I hoped it would be .... again with those expectations ;)